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When The Law Of Attraction Is Not Working

(Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels)


I've been studying the Law of Attraction for years, but I just can't get it to work!  What gives?


There are a lot of reasons why the Law of Attraction might not seem to be working - but I assure you, it IS working - just not working the way you want it to.

See - the Law of Attraction isn't just a way to get whatever you want just by wanting it and putting a picture of it up on a vision board.  The truth is we don't attract what we want - we attract what we think about, talk about, and act on.

I can relate to this "Law of Attraction not working" thing more than you know.  Let me tell you a few of the things I've seen go wrong, so that you can profit by (and laugh at) my misfortune.  In all of these cases you will see that the Law was actually working just fine; I was just on the wrong side of it.

Mistake #1: Being Unconscious

When I was 11, I had a terrible dream that ended up coming true.  I dreamed that my younger sister grew up and became an adult, but I was still 11.  After that dream, I watched as my two younger sisters surpassed me in beauty, maturity, the favor of our parents, and every skill I cared about.  Nothing I did, no matter how hard I worked on drawing or gymnastics or music or dance or trying to behave, I could not turn this around.  Why not? I was unconscious. 

As a related symptom of that, I wouldn't stop hitting my sisters - so the universe had to take a stand on their behalf.  Once I remedied the relationships (which took decades), that curse was broken and I was again able to advance in life.

One of the main fundamentals of the Law of Attraction is that you need to understand that life has both a physical and a spiritual component.  By "spiritual" I don't necessarily mean religious - what I mean is that life consists both of things you can experience through the five senses, and things you cannot.  Those things which can't be experienced through the five senses are the spiritual part of life - and what happens in the spiritual part of life influences what happens in the physical.

If you don't understand or believe this, you won't be able to understand or implement the Law of Attraction.

Mistake #2: You Wanted Something That Would Actually Make You Miserable

Let me tell you the story of how I manifested my ex-husband in 2000.

As a young teenager, I spent a lot of time developing a storyline for a video game I wanted to make.  One of the characters in the game was a teenage girl warrior who had this sexy rock star boyfriend with long brown hair.  In the story, the boyfriend got turned to the dark side via seduction by the warrior's evil twin (don't judge me, I was in high school), and ultimately died.  

I drew a lot of pictures of these characters, made paper dolls, etc, and continued to do so while I was in college.  

After graduation, I met an amazing guy who just happened to have long brown hair, and ended up marrying him.  He looked so much like the paper dolls I had made, that I freaked out and recolored their hair black.  (This was the first time I suspected that there might be a law of attraction, and it was way too much for my logical mind to handle.)  Needless to say, this man ended up breaking my heart - for reasons that were not all his fault - and the marriage did not last.  After we were divorced, I found some of my old notebooks in which I had written the stories, and I freaked out some more.  I now knew what I had done wrong.

What was the mistake here?  I paid too much attention to the wrong things in my visualizing and manifestation.  I knew every detail of what this man looked like down to the shape of his eyes, but I did not think to write about a boyfriend who was mature, faithful, and eternally in love with my unlucky heroine.  That would have been a good idea.

I started writing different stories.  Hopefully will be able to share some results soon.

Mistake #3: Not Being Specific Enough

Because I apparently don't learn, let me tell you another man-manifesting mistake I made.  This one was unfortunately much more recent.  I liked a certain man, and apparently I liked him a lot, because I asked the universe for a marriage proposal from that man by a certain date.

And you know what?  The universe delivered!  That man did indeed propose marriage by the date I wrote down.  Unfortunately, he did not propose to me, but to another woman entirely.

Even though I didn't get what I wanted here either, I could not deny that the Law of Attraction brought exactly what I actually asked for.  And I learned that the universe has a sense of humor, although I did not think it was funny at the time.

Lesson learned: I should have specified that I was the person who should be receiving the marriage proposal in this particular manifestation.  The universe likes clarity.

Mistake #4: Telling The Universe What To Do

What I didn't mention about the marriage proposal story is that the universe had already told me exactly what it was going to do for me re: my romantic life.  However, I wasn't listening, and I wanted it my way.  This backfired spectacularly.

Mistake #5: Are You A Vibrational Match For The Thing You Desire?

This Law of Attraction mistake is 100% the reason I remain unmarried at this time.  I know for a FACT that I am not a vibrational match for marriage at all, much less a healthy marriage.  I don't think I really even understand what marriage is exactly.  That's my journey, and I don't know how long it's going to take.  However, I have manifested amazing friendships, work relationships, and family relationships - when NONE of these were good at the beginning of my life.  

So how do you become a vibrational match?  Here are 5 actions you can take today to make that happen.

1. Take out a piece of paper and a pen, and ask yourself HOW YOU WOULD FEEL if you had the thing you desired.  Write down a scene in exquisite detail, using all 5 senses, that puts you in the feeling space of the thing you desire.  Then, put yourself into that feeling space any time you want by reading what you've written - out loud, ideally.

2. Make a love list.  This idea, from YouTuber Mina Irfan (The Universe Guru), works for more complicated manifestations like a business or a life partner.  You write down a list of all the characteristics that are important to you of the thing you want to manifest.  For example, my updated love list for a partner includes things like faithfulness, passion, and spiritual consciousness - and doesn't say anything about what color their hair should be.  

3. Clean up your act!  Take inventory of your thoughts every day, and note whether they are positive or negative thoughts.  If you have to snap a rubber band on your wrist every time you have a negative thought, do it.  Also pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth.

The things you actually think and say are going to give you an extremely accurate barometer of what you are actually attracting into your life.  Make sure they match what you desire.

4. Take advantage of optimal times of day.  The best times to influence your subconscious mind are right before you go to sleep and right after you wake up.  Make those times a sacred time to think only about the things you desire to manifest (if you are religious, you can include them in your prayers; if not, then just use affirmations or the written statement you created in step 1).  DEFINITELY do not go to bed listening to the radio or TV.  If you need background noise to fall asleep, put on a meditation, podcast, or video with content that matches your desire.  Don't let someone else program your subconscious mind for you!

5. Repetition, repetition, repetition. The subconscious mind loves repetition, and lives on it.  For a while, I was a member of the Soka Gakkai International ( and used to chant the mantra "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo" for 5 hours a day when I wanted to bring about a massive change in my life.  I know someone who manifested an apartment with a ridiculously low rent for the location by doing this.  There's tremendous power in using mantras or scripture quotes, but you can also use affirmations or statements that you create yourself.

I hope this helps you on your journey of personal growth, learning, and experimentation with the Law of Attraction. 

To get deeper into the process of accessing your internal guidance, start here.